The Time Traveler's Wife

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skipping beats
books
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Books - my first love and Movies - my second love. It seems like it, these days anyways.
For me movies have always been a pale version of a book, esp when the movie is a remake of a book. I don't know what I was hoping for from this movie. I had read the book many years ago and sobbed through it! Have you ever read a book(s) that stay with you long after you are done with them? Experienced a book popping up now and then in/through your own experience in life, like a fish in a vast vast ocean? I always do! I sometimes describe it to people like it was a deja vu and always get strange looks(but then again, I get that for a lot of other things so by now I should be used to it). Maybe because the book left a strong print on me and the movie dint match up, I was slightly disappointed. Eric Bana in all his beauty made up for it and more! *sigh* *heaven*

Maybe I should stop comparing the movie to the book. The movie in itself was beautifully made and sent me down a tunnel of thoughts about the past, the present and the future.

Aren't we all time travelling all the time? We live with our memories from the past. We either hold on to the past or it seems on to hold us. The past is what makes us who we are today. Are we a consequence of the past? From our past we seem to project into the future. (Even while I am typing this, I am wondering who will read it and what they will think of it) Because the future is so unknown there is sometimes so much anxiety and the fear of the unknown. But it is full of surprises as well isn't it?

It seems very difficult to be rooted in the present for a continuous period of time. I often experiment with it and find myself noticing mundane things about people around me, about objects, sounds and smells. I then ask myself, how is this in any way more richer or better than me going to a past memory or a future projection in my head and experiencing that in that moment? I have never been able to find the answer to that question. These mundane details are pale in comparison, my logic says. But no! I do notice that when I am rooted in the present moment, there is a beauty to reality, that I cant explain with words. It is just real - beautiful.

I think I also run to the past to run away from facing the present or project into the future to feel safe, through a false sense of control over what is going to happen. I feel we also often glorify the past too much, make it more beautiful than it was. Is it because we are now far away from it and can rewrite/tweak it to what we want in our memory? Create a new experience out of it? Or is it because, only now, we can experience the past in totality? When I look back at any memory, I often find myself experiencing it in a completely new dimension.

When I was in high school,I have always wanted to see into the future. But two years ago, if someone had described what my life is like today, would I have laughed at them? Do I really want to know?

If I knew back then what I know now, would my life have been any different? But how would I know all that I know now, if I dint go through all that I went through?
Life is strange, isn't it? But definitely in a good sort of way!

I am going to experiment more in being rooted in the present for however long I can without going into the past or the future. It enlightened The Buddha, let us see what it has in store for me. :)

Oh! before I forget, this movie will be very special to me because, this is the first movie I went alone to a theatre to watch. I have always been scared to go alone to movies and dinner, it looked sad and lonely in my judgement. When the man at the ticket counter repeated 'ticket for ONE?' Pang, but I said yes please! :D I have always thought it takes guts to go watch a movie alone! And today I did it! And guess what? I loved it! I am going to do it more often in the future.

Have a beautiful present! :)